One of the many things to add to my "do not like" list

It's okay to joke amongst friends. In fact, it's more than okay, it's natural. However, to hold a grudge against your friend and to go about characterizing your friend in a negative light to other people feels downright wrong.

Those other people don't know this friend. Those other people have no basis as to judge this friend. Yet, when they hear a supposed friend characterize that person in a negative light, those other people will lend credence to those statements. These other people would say to themselves, "if a friend, who knows this person better than I could say such things about this person, well then it must be true."

The more and more I think about the above two paragraphs, the more and more I feel sick to my stomach that a friend would do that to another friend. Of course for the imaginary reader out there, this friend who has been wronged is me. Duh. However, what really angers me is that if this situation were turned around, and say I was the person who characterized my friend in a negative light to others, this friend of mine would undoubtedly never speak to me again. She would go through a range of emotions, from shock to bitterness, to anger and then disgust. She would not only never speak to me again but never even acknowledge my existence.

How do I know all of this? Because she didn't acknowledge my existence due to a misunderstanding between the two of us. In fact, of all the actions she could have done, not even acknowledging my existence hurt the most.

But alas, I'm not her. And what do I do when I realize she has wronged me? I smile to her and I tell her I'm disappointed but that it's okay. What the hell?? It's NOT okay. Her actions have long term consequences. Consequences that I have to live with. For me to go about and tell her that it's okay was a boldfaced lie on my part. And deep down, I know why I lied too.

So not only am I angered by what she did, I'm even more angered at myself.